There is healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Healthy fear is being afraid to touch boiling water because we know it’s hot. Unhealthy fears are things like, I’m unlovable, I’m damaged, and I’m a failure. Those are mostly bullshit lies that we either tell ourselves, or are based on things that others say about us that we internalize as truths. When we begin to believe them fear then sets in and inaction results.
What I want you to remember is that behind every unhealthy fear is a breakthrough waiting to happen. How many times have you been afraid to do something, but once you did it, you realized it wasn’t as scary as your thought? Sometimes you just have to push through the fear to get to the breakthrough.
Fear is not evidence for you to stop and retreat. Fear is a compass that points you in the right direction. It shows you exactly where you need to go and what you need to strengthen or change. When you feel fear, walk with it hand-in-hand. Stop seeing it as the enemy because it is pointing you in the right direction to discover your truth and give you the power to take action.
We tells lies to ourselves everyday when we engage in negative self-talk. Some of the most common ones are:
- I’m not good enough
- No one will ever love me
- I’m a loser
- I can’t do anything right
- I’m alone
- There isn’t enough time
You have to be able to have the courage to examine these lies for the truth. You have to be able to call BS where warranted. You have to override the fear and look at the truth. This is what it sounds like:
I’m not good enough
According to whom? I am good enough for ME and that is the most important person. Here’s a list of things I am good at …
No one will ever love me
No one? Seriously, how about your dog? How about your family? How about your friends? These people like me because I am …
I’m a loser
I may not be perfect but I do a lot of things right. BTW – It’s called being a human! Here are the things I did right just today….
I can’t do anything right
Nothing, not one thing? C’mon now stop the pity party, having a bad day does not equal having a bad life! (I just laughed because I just said I can’t do anything right to myself today!)
I may feel lonely sometimes but I can solve that by…
There isn’t enough time
Oh crap this is another way of saying I’m not worth it. I AM worth it. I will make the time to….
Don’t spiral out of control because of the lies you tell yourself. You are only you are responsible for the quality of your life. Don’t let individuals, situations or inaccurate thoughts dictate your happiness (or lack thereof). When you realize that you control your thoughts, attitudes and actions you can begin to let go of anger, blame and resentment.
And that, my friends, is the start of a whole new evolution!
Pass it along or share it if you think it will helps others – or just let me know your comments!