How To Deal With Adversity

About a year ago I wrote about the inspirational message that Sheryl Sandberg wrote after an inconceivable loss and her ability to pull herself up and face the day with courage. It was a great example of how to handle adversity and courage through the fear. She recently gave a commencement speech to the Berkeley Graduating Class of 2016 in which she talked about what she has learned in the year since her loss. Her thoughtful comments about how to overcome deep adversity (no matter what form it takes) are inspirational. She quoted psychologist Martin Seligman, who found that there … Read More

Refuse to Be the “Ashes” in Your Divorce

Published In The Huffington Post 4-26-16 I bristle every time I hear the phrase “conscious uncoupling” because it makes the dissolution of a marriage sound easy and pain-free. Let’s be honest, divorce hurts, and as many can attest, the beginning of the end is usually not that well mannered. Navigating a divorce is hard. It takes time to get over the initial anger, pain, and hurt, but then you have a big decision to make. Are you going to stay in the world of anger and hurt or are you going to try to move through the change with honesty … Read More

How to Get Over a Hurt

Do you ever feel like you sometimes get drunk on the drama of a hurt? It initially provides a good buzz, but after too many you suddenly don’t feel so good. That’s what happened to me last month. I did a bit of traveling to see family and friends, managed through two severe colds and worked relentlessly on a new free product I am going to offer this year. All of that left me exhausted. When I get exhausted, my resilience muscle starts to weaken, and I can easily slip into negative thinking, which is exactly what happened. A decision … Read More

What If Fear Is Evidence You Are on the Right Track?

There is healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Healthy fear is being afraid to touch boiling water because we know it’s hot. Unhealthy fears are things like, I’m unlovable, I’m damaged, and I’m a failure. Those are mostly bullshit lies that we either tell ourselves, or are based on things that others say about us that we internalize as truths. When we begin to believe them fear then sets in and inaction results. What I want you to remember is that behind every unhealthy fear is a breakthrough waiting to happen. How many times have you been afraid to do something, … Read More

2 Things That Lead You to Lose Your Self-Confidence Amidst a Divorce

(This article was published in the Huffington Post on 11/17/16) Divorce, job loss, or the crumbling of a relationship are examples of sudden life-changing events that can cause pain and suffering—whether you saw them coming or not. Chances are pretty good that when a sudden soul-crushing event happens to you, anger and sadness quickly turn to blame, which can take two forms. BLAMING OTHERS You can blame others and point the finger at somebody or something that you feel caused your pain and suffering. In blaming others, you identify yourself as victim because it was done to you. The reality … Read More

How to Control the Negative Inner Voice Your Divorce Created (A Huffington Post Exclusive)

This blog originally appeared in the Huffington Post Divorce Section on 10/27/15.  The biggest lies are often the ones we tell ourselves. In my last post, “How Your Divorce Coping Mechanisms May Be Holding You Back,”  I discussed the danger of negative thoughts forming an endless loop in your head. In order to stop this, you have to understand what is controlling the loop in your head. The part of your brain that is controlling the loop is your ego. When you learn to harness your ego, you can transform the way you think to move past these self-destructive thoughts. When … Read More

How Your Divorce Coping Mechanisms May Be Holding You Back (A Huffington Post Exclusive)

This article originally appeared in the Huffington Post on October 1, 2015. Resistance reactions are the emotional reactions you have when going through a soul-crushing divorce. They are a coping mechanism designed to help you deal with the situation and a defense mechanism, a way to push back on the reality of a situation. They help you get through the first wave of pain and they’re a completely natural reaction to have when you are trying to comprehend what happened to you and why. The real problem, though, is if you get stuck in resistance reactions because they become an … Read More

When You Change The Way You Look At Things, The Things You Look At Change

This blog also appeared in the Huffington Post on 9/2/15. When I heard Wayne Dyer make that statement, it had a profound effect on my life. And it was not just that statement, for there were many more to follow. Wayne Dyer is often in my headphones. He is my walking buddy, my voice of reason, my teacher, my spiritual advisor. I connected with his outlook and his message and I honor him today by continuing to implement and share what he taught me. When you change the way you look at things, The things you look at change You … Read More

Resilient Children – 4 Things You Need to Do If Your Child Has Digital Pouting Syndrome (A Huffington Post Exclusive)

This blog appeared in the parenting section of the Huffington Post. Conflict resolution for children and young teens used to be easier. When we didn’t get our way, we’d just take our ball and go home. We quickly learned, however, that this coping strategy wasn’t the best approach because, let’s face it, home was a boring place to be. Anyone remember having only three VHF channels with Jack LaLanne as the daytime highlight? As a result, we learned to quickly get over our hurt and go back to playing with our friends. Conflict resolution at it’s finest. Today, I have … Read More

Do You Ever Wonder “Do I Matter”?

Do I Matter?  It’s something I think about all the time. I know I matter to those that love me, but in the overall big scheme of it What is my role? Do I make a difference? Those are BIG questions. I can tell you that you do make a difference even thought it is hard, if not impossible, to see the ripple effect we have on others. You have to trust that it is there. So how do you create a ripple effect? A small kind act by you to just one person can create a ripple effect to … Read More

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